Dude, Where's my Country?

I bought this Micheal Moore Book at an exhibition. It was interesting - my favorite part was Chapter 6...most of which I have copied here -

Hi. God here. I hope you don't mind if I interrupt Mike's book with a few words from Me, your Almighty Creator, but hey, I'm God - who's going to stop Me?
.
.
Believe Me, when I get to do it over again( after you all have blown up the world), I'll get to do it right. But, for now, what do I do about this Bush fellow? I keep hearing him say that he is "acting' on My "behalf". Let's get one thing straight: This guy does NOT speak for Me or anyone else up here. I do My own talking, or when I', tired, I send down a prophet or two to do the yammering for Me. Once I sent My Son, but that just stirred up a shitstorm which still hasn't died down. Things didn't go too well for Him and frankly, Our relationship is still a little strained over it. He's told Me in no uncertain terns that He is never going back to Earth, Second Coming or no Second Coming. " Send Gabriel," is all He ever says to Me when I broach the subject.

I'd hate to have to come down there Myself to straighten things out because, when I show up, it ain't a pretty sight. George W. Bush was not sent by Me on any kind of mission whatsoever. He was not sent to remove Saddam, he was not sent to fight some axis of evil, and he was not supposed to be president. I have no clue how that one even happened. First, I answered all your prayers and removed his father from the presidency. Then, when his son showed up eight years later, I again answered your prayers and that guy Gore got the most votes. Like you, I did not count on the interference of other supreme beings or supreme courts.

Well, that's what happened to this particular party boy. Before I could whip up a plague of locusts, W. was off the divine plan. I tried to make his life as miserable as possible. I saw to it that every one of his business ventures failed. I made sure that his baseball team sucked beyond belief. I even appeared to him in a dream and convinved him to trade away Sammy Sosa, and then, just to rub it in, I made Sosa a home-run king when he went to his new team.
.
.
But it didn't faze George at all, and he found ways to use it for his benefit. Before I knew it, he was governor of Texas and he was deciding when people would die. THAT's MY JOB.
.
.
So, for the few of you who still hold some faith in Me, let Me assure you of the following:

1. I am the Lord they God and HE is the Son of George, not the Son of God. I will hae him spending eternity parking cars in Hell's VIP lot as soon as I get my hands on him.

2. I did not order Bush to invade any countries. It is still wrong to kill other human beings unless they have a really big knife at your throat and all pleas for mercy and a warning shot have gone unheeded. Killing humans is My job, and boy, do I love it. You've all gotten Me so pissed off, I may just ax another 10000 of you tonight.

3.I do not want school kids praying to me in a classroom. Save it for the church and before bedtime - that's enough for the little tykes. You keep forcing then to pray to Me, they are going to hate My ass. Stop it!

4. An embryo is an embryo, a fetus is a fetus and a baby is a baby. That's the way I set it up. When it is a baby, then it becomes a human being. You humans are difficult enough, I don't need more of you around any sooner than necessary. And while we're on the subject, I really don't care about your sex lives, as long as they're consenting and adult. Just keep it to yourselves, okay?

5. One more thing on the subject of creation: Let Me state once and for all that I did not invent and do not endorse "creationism." It's a completely bogus concept, right up there with the New Hampshire primary and non-alcoholic beer. I'm an evolution guy, despite what the neanderthals claim in My name. Who do you think created science? Only a Higher Power could come up with something so complex and miraculous.

6. I do not approve of plaques and monuments with the Ten Commandments and other religious material being displayed in public buildings. My little-know Eleventh Commandment? Keep your religious convictions to your own damn selves.

7. As far as those other religions go, two points of clarification. One, there are never going to be seventy-two virgins waiting for you up here. We haven't had a virgin up here since Jesus' mother, and you're not getting anywhere near her. So save yourself the dynamite and blow-to-bits body parts because you aren't ever getting a room in My joint. And, two, there is no "Promised Land". There big truck-load of sand I dumped in that horrid strip between the Mediterranean and the River Jordan? NOBODY was supposed to live on it, let alone fight over it to the point where it may results in the end of the world. I did not give that land to the Isrealites, I did not give that land to Mohamed, and if everyone keeps using Me as the landlord I'm going to settle the dispute once and for all, so knock it off.
.
.
.
You want to get rid of some evil? Why not start with eliminating a bit of the evil you've created. Allowing millions of your children to go hungry, that is evil. Watching endless hours of reality television when you could be having really raunchy sex with someone you love, that is evil.